Love is an action word.
Love is the action of loving yourself enough to have boundaries and standards for those in your orbit… for those in your sphere of influence.
Malcolm X cautioned “not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong no matter who does it or says it.”
Love is the action of standing up for others even when it’s uncomfortable.
Love requires patience.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said, “I’ve decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Imagine how much patience it took for Dr. King, Rosa Parks, and the women of the Suffrage Movement to stand up against the hate, bigotry, and sexism.
The Quran says, “By time, indeed, mankind is in loss, except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other Patience.”
It takes a lot of patience to “love thine enemy.”
And it takes radical love and patience to stand up to those who wrongly believe you are the enemy…
simply because you stand up for what you believe in…
simply because you stand with those who are suffering…
simply because you don’t hide who you are.
I think we forget how much patience Jesus had to have.
Love is Kind.
Kindness shouldn’t be confused with “nice.”
Jeffrey Dahmer was nice.
Everyone said so.
Even his victims would have said he was the nicest guy… if he hadn’t murdered and eaten them.
Being nice is how he got them.
Being nice is how they were gotten.
Nice is keeping your mouth shut so as not to rock the boat, like when a co-worker makes a racist or sexist joke.
Jesus was kind. Jesus wasn’t nice.
Love does not dishonor others.
Kindness is being considerate even as you correct someone, doing it privately when you can and from the perspective that the person wasn’t intending to be a jerk but maybe didn’t realize what they said… or how it sounded to others.
Kindness is being kind even when others aren’t.
Don’t be nice and condone the dishonor of others.
Be kind while giving pushback.
Love is not easily angered.
One of the best ways to combat anger is to firmly believe everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.
Sometimes, they don’t have much, but I do believe most are doing their best.
I’m fairly famous for the unemotional conversations I share on FB.
#Campaign Chronicles
#DoseOfDeedra
#DeedraDialogues
An example is:
Woman: Some women have lied about being raped.
Me: Some men have admitted to being rapists.
Woman: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: Nothing. I thought we were playing the exception to the rule game.
Another one:
Man: Do you believe _________ is a sin?
Me: Does my definition of sin apply just to me… or do I get to decide what sin is for you too?
Asking people questions in response to loaded accusations is a powerful tool.
Be curious.
Be curious about what they’re really saying.
Getting to the root of the matter will often lead to common ground.
Be curious about WHAT what they’re saying really means.
The consequences.
Maya Angelou said, “”Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Today, people are experiencing information overload on top of fake news and alternative facts.
It’s not that they don’t want to do better, it’s that they sincerely don’t know what’s true, what’s a lie, and what information they should be prioritizing beyond their own survival.
Give people 77 excuses.
By excuses, I don’t mean revert back to being “nice” and saying nothing.
I mean give them the benefit of the doubt that they don’t know better, didn’t realizes what they said, or don’t understand the consequences to others.
Be a farmer.
Plant seeds.
Seeds of information.
Seeds of friendship.
Seeds of love.
Don’t worry about the outcome.
Neither the water nor the sun is your job.
Your job is to plant seeds.
Whether those seeds grow is on God, not you.
Don’t be a woodsman hitting them with your ax of superior knowledge though.
Meet them where they are.
With kindness, compassion, honor, and even humor.
Don’t assume.
Ask questions.
We’ll reach more common ground by focusing on local issues and local elections than national ones.
Local affects everyone’s life more anyway.
And most people know way less about local issues and races… and are, therefore, a lot less passionate about a position that gets in the way of connecting.
That’s an opportunity.
Opportunity to connect.
Opportunity to stand up for Love… in Politics.

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